When I am here, really here, moment by moment, I am soooo happy, content, grateful, full of love. I am defining this as a paradise. My senses are enjoying every singel shift of this flowering spring.
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But as soon my mind is traveling backwards, or when my ambition is taking forwards… to that future, trying to plan the next step, or create that perfect long-term life plan. I am losing the peace. I am losing the connection. I can no longer enjoy the beauty around me.
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When that is happening, it doesn’t matter how beautiful the flowers are or how warm the sun is – its like I am blind for beauty when I am not connected to my heart.
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Fuck, why is it sooooo crazy difficult to just be HERE & NOW.
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An inquiry that has been with me for a few years is… Can I go as deep with another person as I am in my own meditation?

For a long time, I have had a huge longing to meet another person when I am in that mesmerising space of connectedness with my own heart. With everything.

However, so far in my life, I have only got glimpses of such meditative and beautiful meetings. I have been very close to other people but that last little bit of fully connectedness – I have only been able to experience when I am by myself. It is like when someone else is around, I get distracted and losing that deep connection to my heart. I guess, I get too involved in the other person’ energy and emotions so I cannot feel myself anymore.

Despite this, a wise part of me knows that it is possible to experience even deeper places of connectedness with someone else. It is like I know, that there is a huge potential, in the meeting in between two people, that is way bigger than being alone. But – it is just sooooo much more difficult than finding presence alone. At least for me, it doesn’t come naturally. I guess, because the meeting with another, requires two people to be pure, complete, and present. But above all, it requires two people to trust. Really TRUST. And that is maybe the most challenging task we can take on this life time. At the same time, maybe that is also what life is all about – beautiful and deep relationships? No matter, how beautiful sensations I am experiencing in my own meditations, there is always an underlying longing to share it with another.

 Can I allowing life to just take me where I am suppose to go?
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Stop controlling every single step. Stop planning every single moment. Stop trying to figure everything out.
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Instead. Letting go. Leaning back. Floating with what is.
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Trusting. Trusting. Trusting.
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