När var du senast totalt närvarande?

Heeeeello! Inser igen och igen, hur mycket jag älskar att vara totalt absorberad av en sak i taget. Att inte multitaska utan ha min fulla närvaro här och nu med exakt det jag gör eller inte gör, tillsammans med personen jag är med eller i mitt egna sällskap. TOTAL NÄRVARO. Så sällsynt men så magiskt, kanske det enda som faktiskt betyder något på riktigt. Delar en text från min instagram nedan om just detta, att vara total i det vi gör. Att våga göra en sak i taget istället för allt samtidigt.

I am addicted to the feeling of being TOTAL. Being totally absorbed in what I am doing in the present situation. Totally there with all of my senses.

 

So what I mean is in a way an opposite to multitasking, doing several things at once and on top of that, simultaneously also think about tons of other stuff. That scatterdness drives me crazy. I found it pointless, meaningless…. blääääää.

 

However, even tough I hate it, I still get stuck there over and over again, especially in front of the computer. If I don’t watch myself, it is actually happening every time I am opening my computer. It’s like the computer with all its impressions takes me over and I am starting to ”try” doing a crazy amount of things at the same time. It is like a part of me believes that I am some kind of super human who can finish ten different tasks all at once. But over and over again, I need to face the fact that I have no super power. I am just a normal person who can be present with only one thing at the same time.

 

That is what I ”hate” the most about computer work. If I sit and just write in word, I actually like my screen, it is only the non total multitasking that I hate.

 

Instead, I love being fully present with one thing – single tasking. Teaching yoga gives me just that – for the class to flow, in a way, it requires ”me” to be fully there with all my senses but also me to leave completely. To let go of my self-centeredness and instead be totally present with the students. Maybe that is a secret key for totality…that we need to let go of ourselves to be totally there with someone or something else?

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