En pepp till alla er meditatörer!

Heeeej! Vill bara dela denna äkta, ärliga, vackra kommentar från Lisa som är med och kör meditationsutmaningen. Som en pepp till oss alla att inte ge upp – även när tankarna gör allt för att inte bli iväg slängda. För att slippa möta det som är. För att försätta fly.  Jag vet att det inte bara är jag som känner igen mig här – visst är vi fler? TACK Lisa. TACK.

Läsarkommentar: Jag gick med på utmaningen med målet att fullfölja. Det fanns inga ursäkter, jag ville verkligen och skulle lyckas. Men jag missade några dagar och stoppade dessutom tiden och slutade tidigare under de meditationer som jag var med på.. Men kom sen på mig själv att känna besvikelse på mig själv. Kände mig dålig som inte klarade att delta varje dag. Men varför trycker jag ner mig själv så? Jag är aldrig så hård mot någon annan. När jag förstod det här har saker klarnat. Jag har tidigare under året förstått att jag drar mig från sitta still och meditera, eftersom jag flyr från mina tankar. Vill alltid distrahera mig med musik, en film eller vad som helst. Jag har inte vetat riktigt vad för tankar som jag flyr ifrån, men det är ju för att jag aldrig möter dom. Jag har flytt så länge – automatiskt tryckt tillbaka tankarna så länge att jag inte vet vad det är som jag flyr ifrån. Men nu när jag kom på att jag trycker ner mig själv, valde jag att prova meditera en dag till och berömma mig själv, istället för att bli besviken så fort jag vill därifrån och avbryta. Så fort jag ville springa ifrån meditationen så berömde jag mig själv för att jag stannade. Jag tänkte saker som ”Bra, jätte bra”, ”vad duktig jag är som står här”, ”stanna, känn efter, ta ett djupt andetag, det är inte farligt, du behöver bara vara”, ”vad snäll jag är mot mig själv som sitter kvar, fortätt så” osv. Berömde mig själv tills jag lugnat mig igen. När paniken kom tillbaka igen och jag bara ville stanna klockan och springa där ifrån, berömde jag mig själv igen tills lugnet kom tillbaka. Nu har jag varit med de tre senaste dagarna, 15min varje gång. Det är fortfarande jätte läskigt, men så mycket skönare när jag släppt kravet på att prestera. Jag har dessutom kommit på att det inte är konstigt att jag flyr ensamheten, eller att ensamheten är läskig. För när man är själv har man bara sig själv och sina tankar. Man har ingen att fråga, bara sig själv att luta sig mot och bara sig själv att lita på. Man måste tro på sig själv till 100%, för minsta tvivel skapar en osäkerhet. När man är helt själv behöver man också duga för sig själv, känna sig tillräcklig. Man behöver älska sig själv helt och hållet, för man är inget mer än sig själv när man är i tystnaden. Om det finns sidor hos än själv, kanske beteenden, eller om man känt skam eller skuldkänslor, eller om man jämför sig med andra och dömer ut sig själv, eller om man på andra sätt är missnöjd, då kan man inte acceptera sig själv helt. Och om man inte accepterar sig själv så ligger det och skaver i tystnaden, för man älskar isåfall inte sig själv helt och då är man inte tillräcklig för sig själv. För när man är själv, har man bara sig själv och sina tankar. Och är man då inte tillfreds med vem man är och om man tryckt undan tankar (omedvetet eller ej) för att orka med allting, så är det inte konstigt om ångesten kommer.

Låter det flummigt? Eller går det att förstå? Jag hoppas det.. Det är så svårt att sätta ord på, me det var iallafall en insikt jag fick. Så tack för utmaningen Josefin <3

(Jag sparar även alla inlägg i ett bokmärke under en mapp, så jag kan göra utmaningen igen sen när jag behöver. För det var så bra övningar! Kände inte till att det fanns så många olika sätt! Så roligt att få veta! Lärorikt.)

 

Svar: LISA!!!!! Från hela mitt hjärta – TACK för dessa rader. TACK. Så ärligt. Som svar på din fråga det låter inte allas flummigt. Jag vet att det inte bara är jag som känner igen mig, jag vet att vi alla har en del som inte orkar känna efter..som tycker att det är lättare att fly. Åh så vackert att du observerar alla dessa tankar men lyckas låta bli att följa dem. Du hittar en annan väg…går ifrån det där första som kommer upp. WOW. WOW. WOW. Lisa – sååååå glad att du är med igen! ALL MIN KÄRLEK! <3

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  • Känner igen mig själv i detta:) så underbart att du delar m dig Lisa.
    Själv är jag sämst på o ta hand om mig själv just nu med två små barn så denna utmaning var precis vad jag behövde så tack Josefine

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    Heja alla som vågar utmana sig och prova något nytt.

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  • Härlig insikt o vad roligt att du är med igen Lisa!
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    Så jag ska testa ditt tips; kanske är det precis så jag behöver göra!

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