If I stop. Just stop. ✨

Putting the work aside. ✨

Turning off the phone. ✨

In silence. ✨

In stillness.✨

Alone. ✨

Allowing every single cell of my body to be in the restlessness. Usually, pain is showing up from behind. Tears will flow on my cheeks. Anger will heat my body. Fears will shake me up. Darkness will knock me down.

My whole being wants to run but if I am forcing myself to stay with that pain – surrendering to it – something else most often starts to emerge on an even deeper level.

The something else that gives me the sensation of connection, truth, love, being hold, and alive. Actually, the something else that gives meaning to my life.

So a key for me to be fully alive, is actually to allow myself to be restless. Of course, my first impulse, and what I have done most of my life, is to run away from it by working, teaching, exercising, controlling, being busy, starting a fight etc. But those times when I am managing to stay with it, and even allowing the pain behind to take me over, that beautiful something else starts to shine through every part of my being. So for me it goes, Restlessness – Pain – Aliveness.

How does it work for you?