Heeeeej kära ni! Det första jag gör varje morgon när jag vaknar är att ta upp min dagbok (som sen några år tillbaka är en app i min telefon, hehe…inte så romantiskt men känns tryggt). Där låter jag orden flöda. Det är som om att jag på morgonkvisten, innan jag slagit av flightmode, innan jag pratar med någon, kan jag stanna i hjärtat och skriva därifrån. Därefter, stund för stund, som dagen går är det som om min uppmärksamhet lämnar hjärtat och vandrar upp i huvudet som är fylld av så mycket tankar samtidigt. Att jag helt omöjligt kan formulera en text från mitt hjärta. Texterna från hjärtat, där på morgonkvisten, blir oftast också även på engelska. Vet inte varför men det flödar mer så bara. På sistone har jag börjat dela det jag skriver i min dagbok på morgonen på Instagram men tänkte att de kan få lite space här på bloggen också. En kategori jag döpte till Heart to Heart. Så från mitt hjärta till ditt.. här kommer en text för några morgonar sen…en text om rastlöshet.
If I stop. Just stop. ✨ Putting the work aside. ✨ Turning off the phone. ✨In silence. ✨In stillness.✨Alone. ✨ Allowing every single cell of my body to be in the restlessness. Usually, pain is showing up from behind. Tears will flow on my cheeks. Anger will heat my body. Fears will shake me up. Darkness will knock me down. ✨✨✨
My whole being wants to run but if I am forcing myself to stay with that pain – surrendering to it – something else most often starts to emerge on an even deeper level. ✨✨✨
The something else that gives me the sensation of connection, truth, love, being hold, and alive. Actually, the something else that gives meaning to my life. ✨✨✨
So a key for me to be fully alive, is actually to allow myself to be restless. Of course, my first impulse, and what I have done most of my life, is to run away from it by working, teaching, exercising, controlling, being busy, starting a fight etc. But those times when I am managing to stay with it, and even allowing the pain behind to take me over, that beautiful something else starts to shine through every part of my being. So for me it goes, Restlessness – Pain – Aliveness. How does it work for you? ❤️
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EXAKT så. Jag kan bli tokig på mig själv för att jag allt för sällan låter mig gå igenom rastlösheten och smärtan, för att sedan landa i mig själv. Jag ser min utveckling ändå, det händer mer ofta nu, även om det fortfarande är alldeles för sällan för att jag ska må bra (så bra det går, det kommer ju alltid finnas svåra stunder, men du förstår). Så, nu ska jag göra frukost utan att distrahera mig med annat, som en podcast eller musik. Tack för påminnelsen <3
JAAAA va fint Lisa. Ibland behöver vi verkligen VÅGA VARA TYSTA, utan distraktioner. Det finns ju en sån underbar belöning på andra sidan. <3
Älskar att skriva dagbok, så lättande på något sätt.
Eller hur! Det händer ngt med en när man får skriva ner det som snurrar i huvudet. KLARHET!!!
Jag har också börjat skriva dagbok igen.. Lite ovan att sätta ord på tankar och känslor då det var så längesen jag skrev. Men det känns sååå härligt och som.. att det händer saker när jag får ner det på papper. Men gud vilken skrivkramp jag får i händerna!! 😀 Så jag funderar också på att skaffa en app bara för att göra det mer lättillgängligt var jag än är.. Får jag fråga vilken app det är du använder? 🙂
Eller hur!!! Sååååå himla skönt att få skriva av sig. Helt beroende av det. Mina tankar och känslor blir sååå klara. Skönt med appen för mobilen är ju oftast med också. Det finns nog superlånga bra. Jag fastande för en för flera år sedan som egentligen är en mens-app…haha…P-tracker. Det finns säkert bättre men den funkar fint för mig :-).